Becoming Besties with Being Behind

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In my acting classes we begin class with a check - in. This is an opportunity to say whatever you need to say to be more present. My professor said something along the lines of, "I'm learning to be friends with the feeling of being behind."

Already overwhelmed with my full schedule and many assignments, I sunk in my chair and muttered with a laugh, "well the feeling of being behind and I are going to be besties."

I didn't realize at the time how true this statement would become. As a recovering perfectionist, learning to be okay with failure and not getting everything done all the time has been a continual life lesson. Sometimes being behind is due to procrastination or laziness -- but in the case of this semester, constant striving and hard work has left me with many assignments overdue on the "to-do" list. I'm grateful for professors who have been gracious and worked with me, trusting me to get the work done as I can. 

So this semester, I've been learning how to juggle creative projects and to allow things to go undone when it is time to eat or sleep or enjoy a little bit of time with my roommates. I've discovered that taking care of myself, going to sleep at a reasonable hour or putting something off a bit so I can eat dinner, has actually allowed me to be more productive and efficient. It has made me a healthier human. 

Much of this semester has been learning to lean into the joy and presence I have available to me, independent of my to-do list's status. 

The other day someone told me: "Often when I feel like I can't do anything, it's because I can't do everything. So I might as well do something."

THIS HIT SO HARD! This semester has been learning to lean into the idea of one thing at a time even when I can't prioritize which thing. Sometimes you just have to pick something, any-one-little-thing. Can I eat right now? Can I take a quick walk? Answer an email? Write a paragraph? What one thing can I do right now...

As we hit the end of week 10 (ahhh...scarrryyyy) with only a chunk of the semester left, my encouragment is to do one next thing. As I write this, I have 30 minutes until I need to go bake biscuits and touch up my show makeup for the musical. In the next 30 minutes I can not catch up on alll my essays and projects. But, I can finish this blog post, sip my cappuccino, look at the sun and do the next thing. 

Blessings on your journey, wether you feel behind or ahead, Jesus is with you and there is abundant joy and peace in that. AND - there is enough time for the task at hand, so pick one. 

Go soak up some sunshine (or dance in the rain depending on your weather :) )
Sincerely, 
Sophi

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